These last few weeks I feel empty. No passion. It looks like I'm living my life in a robotic way. I get a default setting for eating, bath, and sleeping and they're already scheduled for each day. No goals in life. No purpose. It seems that I don't have anymore free will. Everything is already set.
My dear friend suggested me to engage in social activites. You know, like, take courses or enroll in some kind of organization. Right. :-|
Well, I think she's got a point. I can say that my life has been lack of social activities. I'm not really getting in touch with my social life. I'm not hanging out with my friends (hell, like I have any friends) or simply getting out of my house just for fun, like go to a movie, a mall, or any other places to socialize.
I am bored. I guess.
And while I'm writing this I know what I really want now. I want a holiday. Going to other cities outside my hometown alone by myself. I'm not being too picky to where I want to go. I don't care whether it's Jakarta, Bandung, Palembang, Padang, Medan, Semarang, Yogya, Bali, wherever. As long as I get out from this damn city, I'll be much better. To recharge my batteries, you know. To get my spirit back. To do soul-searching. You name it.
I want my life back. I need my life back. So, I can have my ambitions back. To lead me where I will head next. Because, believe me, by being empty--in an extreme way you can say soulless--it's only draining my life. It consumes me from inside. I'm wondering now how I can survive until today.
I really need to get a life. After that, get a job will do much fine for me.