There is no one in this world knows when she or he will die. I, definitely, don't know when I will die. One day I'll die, that's for sure.
I forgot since when exactly I have interest on death. I mean, usually when death suddenly came acrossed my mind, I used to ignore it. I tried not to make a big deal out of it. But, now, I often think about death. Thoughts like "All people I love will leave me eventually by nature." or "Some day I'll die. Will it hurt? Will there be an afterlife? I'm afraid of death.". Yes, thoughts like that. I also often imagine my own death. I visualize myself when my future self's time is up. Weird, I know.
But, if you ask me what I want before I die, then my answer will be... I haven't thought about it. It's weirder. I think about death, but I don't think what I want before I die?
This video below makes me think that I have to find what I want before I die. You know, so I don't have to regret anything when I die. Be it a goal, a life purpose, a wish, anything. Problem is when you have a life that is so plain and boring at the moment, you'll find yourself that you don't have an ambition. You don't know what you want before you die. You clearly have no idea what you do want. And that's what I'm feeling right now. I don't know what I want before I die.
In 2009, I lost someone I loved very much. Her name was Joan, and she was a mother to me, and her death was sudden and unexpected. And I thought about death a lot, and this made me feel deep gratitude for the time I've had, and brought clarity to the things that are meaningful to my life now. But I struggle to maintain this perspective in my daily life. I feel like it's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day, and forget what really matters to you.
Two most of valuable things we have are time and our relationships with other people. In our age of increasing distractions, it's more than ever to find ways to maintain perspective and remember that life is brief and tender. Death is something we're often discouraged to talk about or even think about, but I've realized that preparing for death is one of the most empowering thing you can do. Thinking about death clarifies your life.