Why I Love "To All the Boys I've Loved Before"

Back when I was a teenager, I wasn't a popular kid. I never made many friends. I was an introverted, shy, and quite reserved person. I was (still am) a mediocre, both as a student and as a person. I got decent grades, was busy with my thoughts, and didn't care with the rest of the world. Hence, it's no wonder that I don't have many memorable experiences. It's pretty mundane actually. I spent my teenage years unscathed which is a lie, of course.

The truth is I was lonely in high school. I tried to fit in and tried to be accepted. I had always this thought that other people didn't like me and they saw me as a weird person. And, obviously, I got hurt as well.

My love life was a mess in those years. Hell, it's still a mess to this day. Keeping feelings for people that I cannot have is kind of my thing. I liked some boys and none of them reciprocated my feelings. I watched them from afar. I also watched those feelings fade away through time. Yeah, there's nothing worthy to be remembered from high school.

When I watched To All the Boys I've Loved Before and To All the Boys: P.S. I Still Love You on Netflix, I loved them immediately. I felt related in some ways with the movies. Lara Jean, the main character, wrote love letters to five boys. She realizes that the boys will never like her back. Those letters are some kind of closure. She writes them, she pours out her feelings and puts them in a box. She closes that chapters of her life and moves on. In this sense, I felt related to her. I understand her feelings perfectly. Because I was Lara Jean. 

picture was from here

I love the movies so much I watched them thrice for each movie in two days. I finished reading the novel trilogy also in two days. I kept talking about the movies to everyone I knew, including Lulu and Mbak Anggi. Lulu was quite surprised because she didn't think that I would have liked the movies. She thought that they were not my cup of tea.

Hey, my taste of movies and books is not that sophisticated. I could fall for romantic comedy stories, even teen romances. With one condition: as long as they're not cheesy or exaggerate everything. 

Probably my main reason for loving the movies was Lara Jean is us who are the unpopular kids, unwanted, or unloved. We're the ones that sit in the corner busy with our books or world, quirky, and do not bother with other people, yet we're still craving for attention, for love. We want to have significant others, in forms of boyfriend or girlfriend. We don't have the guts to tell our crushes about our feelings. We keep them for ourselves. We protect them as a secret.

Or maybe the reason was simply I wanted to have the same story as Lara Jean's. In the movie, finally, she's in a relationship with one of the boys that she sent the letters to. Her boyfriend was deeply in love with Lara. He was loving, attentive, and protective. He made Lara as his number one priority. He showed his love for Lara through actions.

Watching the movies and read the novels made me wanted to turn back the clock. I wanted to go back to high school and changed some things. By doing that perhaps my teenage years would be worth remembering. Probably.

If only I had the power.


  1. Netflix pernah rekomendasiin film ini buat ditonton, tapi aku belum sempat nonton mulu. Malahan sekarang lagi ngikutin drakor yang berjilid-jilid. Premis filmnya kaya simpel ya, nanti kalo selow aku coba tonton hehe...

    1. Kamu harus nonton, Anggie! Filmnya ringan dan menghibur. Bisa bikin nostalgia dan baper di jaman SMA. Hahaha.

  2. Aku juga nonton! Yg TATBILB 1 dan 2 semuanya aku nonton, dan aku terobsesi dgn Peter Kavinsky, cobaaaak qqiqiqiiqq

    Tapiii noah centineo kalo main jadi tokoh di pilem lain tuh ngga asik. Dia hanya cocok sebagai KAVINSKY :D

    1. Aku juga ngefans sama Peter Kavinsky (most likely karena faktor tampan Noah Centineo, haha). Apalagi di novelnya, Mbak. Peter sangat so sweet. Huhuhu... Jadi baper pengen punya cowok kayak Peter Kavinsky. Di mana aku bisa mencari cowok seperti dia? :((


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