Why Is It So Hard?

I'm still single now and not yet thinking to get married, let alone to have kids. Don't get me wrong, I love kids, but not when they're in tantrum. I love all my nephews and nieces, but not when they're naughty or crying asking for toys or candies.

You see, I've been thinking that raising one child must be tough. I can't imagine parents who have three, four, or five kids, or more. The difficulty levels must be raising up. You have to feed them, nurture them, educate them, every thing you do to make sure that your children will have a good life. You love your children, right? You never complain in taking care of your children. Even when they already grow up and have a family of their own, you still worry about them, don't you? For you, they will always be your baby. Am I right?

But, does it ever occur to you what will happen if the condition is reversed? It's time for you to be taken care of by your children. You're old and you're sick. Your children are the only one for you to hold. Question now: will they take a good care of you? Will they ever complain? Are they sincere in taking care of you? Do they grumble when they wash your underwear and there is still feces on it? Do they guide you to a bathroom and wipe your butt after you have defecated? Will they look after you just like you looked after them when they're kids?

I once said to my mom, "Mom, it must have been difficult for you and Dad to raise five children. Alone, without help, and without complaint. Until now. But, when it comes to us, your own children, to take care both of you, why is it so hard?" I mean there are five of us (not to mention my brothers' wives, my sisters' husbands, and their children), but why is it still so hard to take care of two people? Ah, I wish I knew the answer.


  1. Have you ever watched Tokyo Story? Maybe it can give some insights. :mrgreen:

  2. good one.... karena kita masih muda... jadi kita punya kesibukan sendiri. tapi nanti kalau kita sudah jadi orang tua. seperti saya.. saya rasa saya akan ikhlas untuk tidak di urusi anak saya... hehehehehe

  3. kopipakegula.wordpress.comJuly 17, 2012 at 11:57 PM

    Mungkin karena kehadiran kita (dulu) diharapkan, sehingga orang tua kita tulus mengasuh kita... sedangkan kita sendiri tidak mengharapkan (kehadiran kita di dunia), tapi kita berkewajiban membalas budi. Saya pernah punya pola pikir seperti ini, tapi sekarang sudah berubah. Terlepas dari "kita tidak bisa memilih orang tua", kita adalah orang-orang beruntung karena masih ada orang yg mau jadi orang tua kita, hehehe...

    Saya jadi semakin sayang orang tua saya saat saya hamil. Mungkin karena saya baru tahu betapa susahnya jadi orang tua. *Hiks, jadi terharu :'(*

  4. because human re-generation process is always flowing/moving forward, so most of the time it's hard to reverse back. that is one main concept of why western society send their elderly parents to carehomes (panty jompo) and none of them complaining (apart from bad service etc). why? because everyone understands very well the situation and accepts the concept of life is moving forward, never reverse back. parents have children from their own will, they are happy to raise them, grow old,
    and then move to care home. at the same time, every children will grow up and busy with their own life and their own children to care about, so they have no time for their parent, apart from see them now and then to say hi. up to the point where they themselves grow old and go to care home, and their children go through same process over and over again. but the main thing in this flowing-forward-only process, of course they always love their parents and vice versa. every children do! no doubt. but western parents would never asked their children to pay back to take care of them when they are old. first: not practicable (time constraint, limited skills-some elderlies require specific treatment and need special nurse, house location etc), second: elderly healthcare is one of government's responsibility. this concept ofcourse will not be easily applied in Indonesia, due to cultural, beliefs, customs, and value differences etc. but who knows, maybe one day asian concept will be shifted to western one. i hope this will give you another view to think about :-)

  5. Nayarini Estiningsih

    I have thought about that. And you're right. Parents in western and eastern are different. Here, in Indonesia, if we put our parents in carehome there will be an accusation that we don't love our parents. But as you've said, it's "human re-generation process is always flowing/moving forward". I think it takes a really long time to change people's mindset.


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