Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Letter #2: A Year and a Half Ago

Day 33. Post a Day 2011.

Dear God,

About a year and a half ago, there was something devastating happened in my family. My father almost lost his life. He was hospitalized because he couldn't take his chemotherapy's effect. My father got an intestine cancer. He survived the surgery, but chemotherapy affected his health. He became weaker and weaker every day, until one fine Sunday afternoon he lost his conscious. His body got yellow. He was so thin.

A nurse put a tube to my dad's body. His doctor pumped it and blood was flowing through it. I knew the doctor actually got panicked. He left our room and not so long after that he told my sister that my father had to be in ICU to get intensive care.

Then all of us who were in the hospital at that time got panicked. We all were afraid that we might lose my dad. One of my uncles left the room and You, God, knew what he was doing. He said he couldn't cry in front of us, so he needed his privacy. My other uncle was crying with his back against the wardrobe. While me... Well, I went to a bathroom and cried there.

I was afraid. Really really afraid. I was in despair. I bet You know how I truly felt that day, right? Fear, regrets, and all other feelings were mixed up. I couldn't think clearly.

I know my father and I often disagree with each other about some things. With all our disagreement--like any other fathers in the world--I know he wants the best for me and my siblings.

I know he loves me so much. I can feel his love for me. I feel his care for me.

So, at that time suddenly I realised that losing my dad (or losing my other beloved ones) was my greatest fear. It still is.

Then I came to You. I prayed that You would be kindly enough to save my dad's life. I begged You. I wasn't ready to lose him. I loved him so much. And about a week later the doctor allowed him to leave ICU. He survived another near-death life experience. He was a survivor. Thanks to You.

God, since that day I keep forgetting how actually You've been gracious to me. You saved my dad's life, You give him a good health now, and I'm not grateful for that. I'm sorry, God. I never intend to.

Now, I'm writing You this letter and hoping that You understand then forgive me for my impudence. I'm deeply sorry, God. Really sorry. And thank You. Many many thanks. Well, I guess I never could stop thanking You for saving my dad, right? sengihnampakgigi

Again, thank You, God.

Oh one more thing, please send my lots of love to my old man. Please tell him that I love him so much and tell him that I'll graduate this year. Last but not least, please take a good care of him for me, will You? I know You will.

2 comments:

  1. Saya nggak terlalu dekat dengan papa. Takut juga kalo tiba-tiba kehilangan.

    Semoga beneran tahun ini bisa lulus ya! Amin.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Amin. Semoga bisa lulus tahun ini. Terima kasiiih... :)

    ReplyDelete

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