We’re faking good because we want to be accepted in this big society called internet. We want to have high influence. We want to be popular. We want to have millions of followers on Twitter, on Instagram, and on Youtube. We, too, want our blog to have millions of readers. Suddenly we crave this kind of attention.
We shouldn’t be astonished nevertheless. It’s because we are social animals. Our brain is wired to be social. We’re just born this way. Besides, if our ancestors weren’t social, they couldn’t survive evolution. Thus, there will be no us--the human modern.
Since we have bigger brains Robin Dunbar (1993, 1996, in Baumeister & Bushman, 2008) pointed out:
Bigger brains were mainly linked to having larger and more complex social structures. Small-brained animals tend to live in alone or in small, simple groups, whereas smarter animals have more relationship with each other and more complicated groups (such as with dominance hierarchies).
According to Baumeister and Bushman (2008), self has three main parts. They are:
- self knowledge : the sets of beliefs about oneself,
- interpersonal self : the image of the self is conveyed to others; and
- agent self : the parts of the self involved in control, including both control over other people and self-control.
Baumeister and Bushman (2008) argued that:
Origin of selfhood is that the self comes into being at the interface between the inner biological process of the human body and the sociocultural network to which the person belongs.
Because we have interpersonal self, it means we just can’t negate other people’s presence and what their impacts on us. We have this self because we do care about what people think about us. And what are selves for? The self has helped us to gain social acceptance and to play social roles.
So, even without internet human already concern for people’s opinions. Adding now internet permeates our lives—to our bones even—makes there are almost no personal boundaries, it isn’t a surprise we’re getting more concerned of our image. We’re getting more insecure. Our social world is expanding. Now it is up to us to what extent we’re going to let this affect us. Can we control the use of social media? Or are we going to let social media dictate us?
Baumeister, R. F., & Bushman, B. J. (2008). Social psychology and human nature. California: Thomson Wadsworth.